Have you ever wondered why we use the word “recover” in grief recovery? Some people have a problem with that word or get stuck on it.
If you look up “recover” in the dictionary, it says “to get back something lost or taken away.” What is lost or taken away with grief is your quality of life. Unresolved grief, whether it’s one loss or whether it’s a lifetime of loss, pain, and hurt, is life-limiting. It diminishes your quality of life. Think about it, you’re going along, living your life at 100%, then loss and grief come, and pretty soon, that brings you down to 80% of what life was before.
No one tells you how to cope with it. You might be using the wrong tools. You might convince yourself that an 80% quality of life is now your 100%, and as time goes by, you have another loss, so now you’re living life at 50%. Once again, you convince yourself that’s your new 100% life.
So when we talk about recovery, we’re talking about recovering your quality of life. We’re not saying anything’s wrong with you, or you’re damaged. We’re using the term “recovery” to talk about getting something back that you lost because of grief, and that’s your quality of life.
If you don’t like the word “recover,” call it anything you want. Call it grief, sorrow, emotional pain, whatever. Please, don’t let that one word get in the way of changing your life for yourself, at whatever 100% is for you. Take some action and do that.
